Perfectionism – what an indecent word! Just the thought of it plagues mothers with an array of emotions. I thought of a few “Mothering Myths” inhibiting us from ever feeling good enough:
- A mom is responsible for her children’s happiness.
- A mom is responsible for motivating her child to change.
- A mom neglects herself to always be there for her children.
- A mom is always patient.
- A mom should feel guilty about everything.
Remember, these are myths (definition of myth – an imaginary or fictitious thing). Letting go of perfectionism is where true freedom starts to emerge. Otherwise, we are unable to fully embrace the life we are called to. We should not neglect our children; but yet remember these blessings are wired uniquely to be themselves, with their own personalities and character traits. I CAN’T change that! And guess what, I am not supposed to. Just like we were made in our own special way, our children have also been uniquely gifted in their own way too.
I honestly believe a lot of struggles with our children have to do with the pressure we put on ourselves. We have set the bar so high that we hate ourselves if we don’t get it ALL done today. On the quest of raising our children with confidence, we need to make sure we are not inflicting this nasty perfectionism disease onto them. I think we need to show our children it’s okay to make mistakes. Sometimes, we feel allowing our children to see us fail would hurt them. On the contrary, I believe it can provide an avenue for application.
Modeling self-acceptance teaches our children to also accept themselves. By pointing out our own shortcomings and explaining how we handle them, it teaches our kids a valuable lesson. I like to call these “teachable moments,” and I have more of them than I care to admit. If our children never see us mess-up, they will assume they shouldn’t either.
This mothering stuff is hard work and one that stretches us beyond anything we could ever fathom. I want to encourage you today to deny the “Mothering Myths!” You are the exact mother your children need – be secure in your pursuit. Security in yourself allows you to instill confidence in your children. And that is no myth!
Be Real ~ Be You!