I’m taking this online workshop called, “Excavating Motherhood in/through Art.” It’s been a lovely few weeks getting to know more about who I am as a mother and a writer. We recently went over our identities. Can we be “good” moms and “good” artists? Are we inclined to say that our motherhood stays separate from our identity as an artist? Can we “marry” the two together and find a balance?
I mentioned how I believe our identity shifts as we get older. We are not the same people we were when we were younger, and certainly motherhood changed all of us. Circumstances and world views change gradually or suddenly, depending on our experiences. Each new lesson is a season, after all; whether in joyful or mundane seasons or seasons of grief and despair.
I’ve been mulling this over, and realized my faith changes too. From the curious and the childlike, to the lukewarm Christian, to the bargainer and beggar, and to one who understands that grace and forgiveness are daily occurrences and blessings.
Every day I wake up is a new day to receive my blessings and offer my day to God. I give Him my time in little prayers of thanks, of loving on my children, my husband, my family, of being a good friend and showing His love through me. There are days, of course, where I get angry and yell. I am annoyed at yet another spill and of messes that never seem to clean itself.
Motherhood, and faith, and life and love all go hand and hand. I’m beginning to understand that with each new day, comes a fresh start or more piles to tackle. They are messy and imperfect. I am learning to find grace in who I am as a mother, and a child of God. I am learning to forgive not just myself, but extend that same forgiveness and grace to those around me. As God does for me.
And isn’t it a lovely idea to wake up realizing that we can never relive the same day over? We can start each day as different or as the same as the ones yesterday.
John 16:33 says: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I liken my life as a faithful servant as a wave. I will encounter different thorough and peaks. Some experiences, my faith will have me on my knees begging and bargaining. Some seasons, might have me in awe of all that God can do. I’m on this ocean of life experiences and my destination is to find my sure footing; a land that God can hold me and tell me that I am home and can finally rest.
Isn’t that the point to all this “trouble?” Whoever I am, whatever identity I hold at the present, mother to littles, writer, author, poet, wife and at the beginning and end of my days, I am always going to be a child of God and I find my peace in knowing that.