I made a difficult decision at the end of last year. It broke my heart to leave my classroom kids, but my spirit had been torn to shreds by the administration. I had prayed and pleaded for God to make my path straight, and then something else would happen that made me want to leave my job. I felt the pull of God on my life, but it wasn’t a gentle tug.
Sometimes God’s help doesn’t seem like help at all.
Leaving my job and the babies I love was like taking a knife and slicing a piece of my heart off. I knew I needed a career change, I had felt the pull years before when I left my teaching job in South Alabama. But things didn’t click together like I thought they should, I took control back into my hands and went back to a profession that didn’t suit my spirit. At first it seemed okay. The newness of being back in the classroom felt amazing. I loved working with the kids, and the administration really seemed like they wanted me to succeed. I started doubting my previous decisions about leaving my public education career.
But, God has a way of getting you back on track.
Things started to change about six months into my new job. Promises were left unfulfilled, and problems that had plagued my previous teaching jobs began rearing their ugly head.
I am now one month into my MBA degree with a focus in marketing, and already my soul has lifted. God isn’t pulling me against me will because I have yielded to His plan for my life. I begged for direction, and He answered me. I prefer this gentle leading by God than Him dragging me kicking and screaming the entire way, but I only have myself to blame.
As I write this post, I sit and wonder how much easier things would have gone if I’d listened to God in the beginning and followed my dream of writing in the first place. Then, I remember that all those broken roads have made me the woman I am today. I have a vast knowledge and experiences that I cherish, and although it’s been a hard road—and the journey’s not over yet—I will not regret my past. I find hope and comfort in Proverbs 3:5-6.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
As long as I submit to God, He will make my paths straight. Learning to submit is hard, and I still haven’t mastered it, but each day I get a lean a little more on God and little less on myself.