I was about seven or eight, when I would visit my uncle and aunt in Georgia for the weekends. I remember falling in love with their townhouse! To be honest, I can’t remember any specifics about the townhouse other than it had stairs. Yes, you read that correctly…stairs! When I was younger, I associated someone having stairs in their house as a sign of wealth. When I was nine, my childhood best friend invited me over to her house for a play date, and I remember almost gawking at her house and the stairs that led everyone to her room. I remember when the play date was over, her mom took me back home to my grandparents house and I immediately found myself praying to God about wanting a house with stairs when I grew up. I found myself praying this prayer for about a month. I just knew that if prayer worked like I had been taught in Sunday School, the stairs would come.
I moved away from home for the first time when I was 24. I had never lived alone, and had just purchased my first car. After six months of living with my cousin and his family, I ventured out to get my own place. After many rejections, and setbacks, I found an apartment that I experienced flooding, horrible ventilation, and hard walking neighbors that lived above me. As much as that apartment wasn’t the “idea” of what I wanted, or even prayed for…it was mine! Eight months after moving into my first apartment, I was promoted and moved 5 hours away. I had one day to find somewhere to live and it was important to me that I liked it. I moved into a townhouse about 30 minutes away from where my new job was. Four months after relocating I lost my job, and was left devastated. “I was obedient to what He told me..” I thought. “Why would He allow this to happen?” I wondered. Still confused and hurt, I still listened to what I felt God was telling me to do to get through this tough time.
One morning, I found myself running downstairs trying to get out of the house for a job interview, when I missed a step and fell down each and every single stair in my house. As I made my way to the last step, I found myself screaming in anger at God, and also in pain. “You know you asked for this….” God spoke to my heart. With tears still running down my face from pain, and anger I heard him speak again. “Really, you asked for this…! You have to know you’re not forgotten, even when you don’t realize it.” He whispered. I didn’t go that interview. Instead, I sat on the floor for the next 30 minutes trying to understand what He was telling me. It wasn’t until the next day I was reminded of the prayers from my nine year old self. God was right.
I did in fact ask for this. God has an amazing way in NEVER forgetting our prayers, even when we do. Something else really amazing about God is, the biggest disappointments, our hardest heartbreaks, are all leading us to exactly where we’re supposed to be. I know, it doesn’t seem that way right now. But we are in good company (Job, Esther, David, etc) when we keep going and most importantly, when we keep praying. I will forever thank God for listening to the prayers of a nine year old; and I will always be in awe that He began working on me even when I forgot my own prayers.
Keep going, sister. This pain is working as an answer to your prayers.