This week has been a crazy one. I tend to do best when there is a routine, a steadiness, I can expect what will happen, etc. You know, I think most women tend to enjoy a good routine. Occasionally I get bored and want some spontaneity, but then I get freaked out and want my routine back. It is a cycle really. ☺
I suppose the spontaneity I enjoy is what I choose, not two sick children, a sick husband, a sick self, a full work schedule, ministry still happening, etc. It is life, right?! A stomach bug hits and life just goes a bit crazy for a few days. You disinfect and you start over. At one point this week I just felt defeated, frustrated, done and really just lonely. I felt as if I just could not get a grip. I kept trying to figure out what I needed to do to get on the right track, to get us all well, to figure out all the things.
Today, I had the day off. It wasn’t a day that I had to call in and take care of sick ones. It was actually a day of sabbath. Sure, I cleaned the oven, made a grocery list, picked up some toys and made beds. I was also able to spend some time with my baby girl, read books with her and snuggle. I enjoyed visiting with my husband on his lunch break when he came home. I walked to pick up my big girl from school and took a longer way, got in some steps and some fresh air. My girls played in the back yard and got filthy. Baths and bedtime came and we got to have some special movie time with our oldest. She fell asleep on her daddy and was snuggled up sweetly while we finished the movie. Sabbath. God knows exactly what we need and provides.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
For so long I thought of this scripture in the sense of rescuing in the epic sense. My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth! So grand, so huge, so epic and strong. My help! My rescue! Yes, it is true. He is those things. He is the strong and mighty one who saves and helps. He is also the one who comes alongside me in my weakness, as a mom, a wife, a woman, a lonely church staffer..he comes alongside me and just sits, suggests a day of grace and then lovingly gives it to me.
Your protector will not slumber. I love that. He doesn’t sleep or miss out or quit paying attention. He is more than attentive, overwhelmingly aware. He is super invested and knows all the things that frustrate you and throw you for a loop. He is incredibly happy to dote upon you and shower you with his goodness, his love and his fresh blessings.
He is like a shelter by your side. Not only is he a shelter, but he is by your side. It suggests that he is not just powerful enough to protect you from the storm, but he will sit beside you in it. He is in this for the long haul, he will not bail, he is steadfast and true.
He protects our coming and going. This reminds me that my daily and weekly life matter to him. He is not just aware of my times of serving, ministry, leading worship, singing his praises, doing his work, he is fully invested and completely aware of my comings and goings in my daily life. My sick kids, my work schedule, ministry commitments, filthy house, my lonely heart, my weaknesses and struggles are all on his radar. He is in this with me. He is walking this road beside me. He is aware and he loves not only me, but my girls, my husband, my heart’s passion for ministry and all the other things in my life. He truly loves my “stuff”.
Y’all he is right there with you. He is in the trenches. He is in the mundane. He provides sabbath. He provides the grace and the fresh air to give us fresh starts. Trust Him. Lean into Him. Soak in his Word. He is right there with you!
..both now and forever.