I like opening up the notification bar from Facebook that says, “On this day” which then gives a list of posts and/or pictures that I may have shared or that others shared with me. I love to look back on the memories. But I especially love when I come across a post that I may have set a goal to reach or said a will that evidently sent me down the path to which it was breathe to life.
“As he thinketh in his heart, so his he”
Proverbs said it best.
It is nothing new for me to blog about the battles I’ve faced. About the circumstances that brought me to where I am today or how my mind set has changed. This post is no different other than the fact this will probably be more cumbersome for me . But due to the cumulative effect of toxicity between people who I assumed would love and show acceptance toward the other, turns out to be less than endearing. I admit I tend to lose patience . I tend to create scenarios in my head of what ifs. Though I battle with my own inner demons; it’s harder to be forced to go into battle with another individuals demon (s). It is also heartbreaking to think they’re losing the fight. I have learned to love myself more and see how my mind can become manipulated by life stipulations. I am seeing my life as the potter sees clay. Every decision either paves the way of destruction or completion ; however, there will be lessons in whatever we choose. Every year I grow; my eyes open to different perspectives. Unfortunately, not everyone has eyes that do the same. I fear for the road ahead; for my children and their children’s children. What will the future be like? I know all I can do is be the best I can as a mother and to help guide them, but the path is ultimately of their choosing. I know other influential entities will create obstacles that they will be forced to go into battle with. I just pray they won’t become consumed by how the world would have them but how God would have. As for me, I won’t force feed “religion” or anything else that may compromise who they truly are. I know I won’t agree on some matters but my love will not cease to emerge through frustration nor will I refuse to accept certain choices they make. Again, the path is their own. This is how I see Christ to be. Despite the fact that I’m a sinner and may make decisions he would rather me not to, he still loves and accepts me because he knows my heart. I believe with each bad choice I make he goes in mercifully to steer me back down the path of completion. It’s a quite battle within us, to choose to make the right decisions, but we have the opportunity to be redirected (when willing). I wish those toxic people in my life could see it as such. All we as Christ-followers can do is set good and strong examples.
I’ve dealt with some major issues in life. In the past I was consumed in such toxicity. It was not until I chose to be redirected. I chose to not stop where I was; instead take grasp of where I will be. Now, that I’ve chosen , I am intolerant to those who would rather scold, condemn, control and devalue me regarding my choices. Especially when it does not impose on anyone. My identity is not found in them. I know who holds me and who helps me rise above. I know that I set the example for my children and I would not do anything that I would not wish them to because I know what I’ve endured. I will not hold it against them for being who they are. The path you choose will ultimately change you. It will devour you and spit you out; wheeling you toward another direction until you take a hold and responsibility of your choices. Until you figure out which path is which. I chose not to take the path of least resistance because I’ll never learn if so. I wouldn’t have grasp who I was; instead believe what others say of me. I would have laid witness to my own destruction. It’s hard to have to go down certain paths alone but it also strengthens. I would not be here today if I chose to stop when I approached the fork in the road. The path I chose and will continue on is of my own will. I encourage myself everyday to press on and emerge with Love, with Hope, and with Faith. I refuse to quit when quitting seems to be the easiest way out. My completion is not yet. My journey is not over. Neither is yours.
Proverbs 3:5–6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight.
Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.
James 1:2-4 Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:13
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain (Hebrews 6:19).