“I need extra prayers please, I keep falling into old sinful habits and I feel myself distancing from God because my conscience is getting quieter and quieter and honestly, I’m terrified.”
This was the beginning of a conversation I had with a girl last week. It’s broken my heart ever since. I think so many people fear a relationship with the Lord because they know they can never get it all right, and let’s be honest, we don’t like to fail. So people just don’t. Because people are so fearful of that failure, they never give a relationship with the Lord a try, and consequently don’t feel the grace of their error. Psalm 51 brings so much peace to the sinner. My sin is always before me, I was born this way. Cleanse me and make me white, renew me. Change me from the inside out, start with my heart. Deliver me from my guilt, from all the things I can’t seem to get right. All I have is a broken heart to give you Lord, and you love it all the same, you do not despise me for what I am. Just wow. Even Paul in Romans 7 talks about his frustration. God I love you and I want to do right. The things I want to stay away from, I run to. The things I want to run to, I stay away from. Even when I try to do right, try to live your law, try to be good, evil finds me anyway. But then there’s chapter 8- 1st verse. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The verses continue to say you are set free. For what you are POWERLESS to fight off, God fought for you when He put His son on that cross. Sigh of relief, right? Oh am I so unworthy, yet I am bled on, paid for, my deposit has been made and so has yours. Deserving His blessings and the ability to receive them are two very different things. We are, have always been, will always be undeserving of His love… if we deserved it.. Jesus was a worthless sacrifice, his blood means nothing if we don’t need it. I need a savior, we all do. So thank God He lived to die. That’s why we have to receive Him with humility, because we’ve got to know we will never deserve it. There’s no penalty. It’s paid. Upfront. Free. He gave us what it cost for us to run back to our sin over and over and over again… because He knew that we would. Y’all, we can’t. We were born to sin, it is a constant battle. Die to Live, work out your faith in fear and trembling. The only thing we can get wrong, the biggest mistake to make, is not loving the man that can make it all right, just choosing to love Jesus. Don’t be intimidated by failing God; His love is so infinite, so forgiving. Quit trying to understand it, it’s a love that our human minds cannot fathom. Don’t analyze it, don’t fear it, receive it for what it is, for what He is; Just good.