As I sit here writing this, I can feel it again. My body feels rigid and almost tense. My heart knows that I must surrender it and my mind knows it’s the next necessary step. I know all I have to do is begin to talk to Him, but it feels almost like greeting an old friend whom you know well, but too much time has passed since you last had a good heart to heart. It is familiar and a bit awkward at the same time.
Sometimes I can become so prideful with God. Do you ever feel this way? I know the sin I need to confess or the situation that I need to give up to Him, but I let my pride take over and I think I can handle things on my own. This has proven time and time again to drive a wedge between me and God.
“Pride precedes destruction;
an arrogant spirit gives way to a nasty fall.”
Proverbs 16:18 (VOICE)
Recently, I’ve been dealing with the stings of my own pride. Somewhere along the way I decided to determine what I thought God needed to handle in my life and what I needed to handle. I decided to hand over the big stuff to God, all the while depending on myself to handle the details of everyday life. The results were almost immediate.
I found myself less patient, less compassionate, more susceptible to gossip, and less willing to offer grace to others. None of those are Christ-like qualities. I can see why the author of this verse in Proverbs warns us of an arrogant spirit. Continuing on like this would prove even more destructive than it already had been.
I knew deep down that I had dug myself into a big giant stinky attitude rut, but I couldn’t quite get out of it. With each day that passed I felt God’s gentle whispers to my heart.
Come back to me. Give up your pride and just start talking to me. Will you stop trying to do things your way?
Finally I had had enough. Enough of the negativity, enough of the anxiety, frankly, enough of myself. What I needed to do next was humble myself to God and ask His forgiveness for being so prideful.
I didn’t do it in a fancy place with a bunch of people around or music going. I did it in my bathroom with soaking wet hair and a towel wrapped around me. He met me there in the stillness. I began praying and talking to God about why I had been so prideful. I asked for forgiveness. I needed to drop the guard I had up around my heart and humbly ask God to forgive me for not trusting Him and for believing that my plans were greater than His.
“When pride comes, shame is not far behind, but wisdom accompanies those who are humble.”
Friend, I don’t know where you’re at today. But if you’re struggling with your pride, let me encourage you to let it go. Pride gets us nowhere. It doesn’t get us any closer to God and it certainly doesn’t show others who the Lord of our life is. Pride can be a nasty thing and we’ve got to be careful about it interfering with our relationship with God.
Fortunately for us, we serve a God who is so loving, so forgiving, and so very gracious to us. If you’re struggling to let go of your pride, just meet with Him in the stillness. Start the conversation again with Him. Ask Him to show you the root of your pride and begin there. Proverbs 11:2 tell us “wisdom accompanies those who are humble.” Let us be daughters who humble ourselves before our Heavenly Father and break down the walls of our pride so we can point others towards His glory.