Marriage is beautiful and honorable. It is a covenant made between you and your spouse before God.
Do you remember your wedding day? I can recall my wedding day having butterflies in my stomach as I married the man I loved so deeply. The day was perfect and all the planning came together just as I desired. It was truly a beautiful day!
I bet you too can recall beautiful memories of your wedding day. Perhaps a toast stood out to you, or how gorgeous your bridesmaids looked in the dresses you chose for them or maybe the look you’ll never forget on your husband’s face as you walked down the aisle toward him.
I married my love almost fourteen years ago and I remember feeling like it was us against the world. I felt we could conquer anything together. Sure, I’d heard horror stories of marriage, especially becoming cohesive within the first year. But I set out to prove these stats wrong. I desired to be a godly wife who took her role seriously as being a helper to my husband. I wanted to do what pleased my husband and ultimately please God.
Over time as with any relationship, the temptation is there to become complacent, to lack the desire to give of yourself, or to love conditionally. Most will tell you both spouses should give 50/50, right? This means to match each other in fulfilling your role as spouses.
Something about giving 50/50 never quite set right with me. I began to study the word of God searching for answers. What does God say about this? I learned even though my husband and I stood before our family and friends vowing to love and honor one another for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health until death do us part; this vow does not solely involve us. God joins in with us to help us carry out this vow in our marriage. I’ve also learned you can’t truly understand why God created marriage looking at the world’s way of doing things; but we must seek Him. Only through guidance of the Holy Spirit will we begin to grasp what God intends marriage to be. Marriage is fashioned after Christ’s covenant commitment to His bride, the church. And Christ doesn’t give 50/50. He loves unconditionally, whether or not we deserve it. He never steps out of His role. Any distance between us and Him is because we’ve created it. He gives 100% of Himself to us at all times.
The world would have us believe we have so much power as wives to manipulate and control our husbands to be and do what we want. The truth is we do have power. But that power isn’t within our reach. We must yield ourselves to God to fulfill the role of wives to our husbands. The Bible talks of winning our husbands over with godly behavior (I Peter 3: 1-2). We can change the thermostat of our marriage by how we behave, honor, reverence and submit to our husbands.
Believe me, I haven’t always gotten this right. And I humbly admit there are still some areas where I could do better. The distinct difference now is that I celebrate and honor my role as a wife. I take pride in loving my husband and doing what I can to help him fulfill what God has called him to do. I pray and ask God how I can be a better wife and aim to meet my husband’s needs. I refer to I Corinthians 13 often to check myself to see how I’m loving my husband by the standards given in this chapter. I protect my home with prayer. I seek to build my husband up through encouragement and doing what I know he likes; whether that is cooking his favorite meal or wearing his favorite outfit.
I hope to encourage you ladies to seek God about your own husband. Don’t murmur or complain about your role; instead thank God you have a husband to do life with. Ask Him how you can be a better wife. Ask Him to reveal ways you need to renew your mind concerning your role as a wife. He will answer you. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain of the world and be obedient to what He tells you. Develop friendships with women whose goal is the same as yours; who takes their role as a wife seriously. The company you keep matters. We all need women who will walk alongside us in this journey to becoming better wives.
I hope this has encouraged you ladies to honor your role as a wife and also to help those who will one day become a wife. Cherish this role God has empowered you to walk in. Honor it. Respect it. It is perhaps the highest calling on earth; to walk in oneness with your husband and showcase to the world how God longs to be intimate and in unity with us. To God be the glory!