“You would be so good at that.”
“I just assumed you would run for that position.”
“That is right up your alley.”
As I heard these statements, I felt more and more like it would be the natural next step. Sure, it would be more of a time commitment when I’m already stretched too thin, but I couldn’t risk letting these ladies down, right?
I felt this overwhelming sense of urgency to say “Yes” and say “Yes” right away. I wanted these ladies to like me and I wanted them to view me as dependable and reliable.
Thankfully my accepting this position would have required more than just a verbal “Yes”. I would need to submit a lengthy application and a meeting with the selection committee. I took the application and glanced over it a few days later.
“Please explain in way God has shown you or confirmed that you should apply for this position?”
After reading this question on the application, I stopped dead in my tracks. He didn’t. He hasn’t. I just know that I’d be good at it, so that is why I want to do it. I mean everyone says that this position is for me and I don’t want to let everyone down.
Could I even put that down? That didn’t seem like much of answer. But wait.
At that moment I heard God’s gentle voice. “Have you prayed about this position?” “Have you asked me if I want you in this position?”
Well No, not exactly. I just thought that I would be good at it.
So I took the next couple days to pray about the position. I asked God if He wanted me to go down that road and I asked him to reveal to me my motives for wanting the position in the first place.
Ladies, let me just say that when you pray to be shown your true motives and intentions, prepare for it to get ugly. (In a good way)
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24 NIV
In his grace and mercy, the Lord showed me that the reason I wanted this position was to boast for myself. The reason I wanted this position was to feel needed and wanted, that somehow adding this title to my imaginary “resume” would make me better.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4
While I swallowed this harsh truth, I was met with an overwhelming sense of peace and love about who I am and the God I serve. He cares not about who we can be, but who we are. I disocvered that in my haste to please others, I ended up ignoring my time with my Savior. I’m learning that whenever you are faced with a decision and you feel pressured or anxious, it is best to follow the words of Philippians 4:6-7:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
So maybe that sense of life or death, do or die, must-make-a-choice-now needs to be evaluated and reconsidered.
The title of this post is, “When No means Yes” because that is exactly what it meant for me.
Saying no to the leadership position meant I was saying Yes to God.
Yes to resting in Him. Yes to my identity in Him being enough. Yes to living in accordance to His will
And it doesn’t stop there! Saying no to something so you can say Yes to God is not a once in awhile thing, it is an everyday thing.
What do you need to put down today, so God can pick you up? What can you say “No” to so you can say “Yes to God”?