Dating relationships can be dampened with assumptions, double standards, and loneliness. Staying in a relationship too long can be one of the most defeating ways of living. Not to mention, saying no to the real Mr. Right and Sweet Romance.
Maybe it’s time to stop asking, “Does he love me? Does he not?” And start knowing exactly where the petals are falling.
Consider evaluating your relationship:
- Do you have a definition? Relationships need a form of definition. For some people, they define their relationship as exclusive – meaning only dating each other and no one else. Or the reason why for dating- to get to know each other, to go to prom, to see if it’s someone they might want to marry. Not knowing your relationship’s definition, will be difficult for you to determine when it should end, if it should keep going or ironically – if it really began! Test it: “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (NIV)
- Are you avoiding loneliness? Sometimes it can be tempting to stay in a relationship to offset loneliness. It’s cool to have a boyfriend. For some, it’s a form of status. It means that someone publically likes you. But if that’s all it is for you – to make you feel accepted – then that’s not fair to the boyfriend and to you. You could be denying yourself from Mr. Right. After all, God’s love can wrap us up in the lonely moments. Test it: “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5 (NIV)
- Are you suffocated? Unhealthy relationships can be one side- meaning that it only benefits one person but not the couple. Boyfriends that don’t want you to spend time with your friends, suffocate your relationship. No one should deny you from being a friend, enjoying your hobbies/sports or being you! Test it: “But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13 (NIV)
- Is he really a True Gentleman? After being in a relationship for a little while, you’ll get to know more about that person and who they truly are. If he does great in the romance department, but he starts to ask you to do things that are outside of God’s plan for unmarried couples, then he is not a true gentleman. Test it: “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires,” Song of Solomon 2:7 NIV.
I’ll never forget the day I asked my first boyfriend to get out of the car. He was suffocating and I was lonely. I didn’t have another guy in mind, but it was time for me to move on. I have faced the heart-breaks of all 4 of the above questions. But the day, I decided to set criteria for my future relationships, was the day I said yes to finding the right person and having a life-time of sweet romance.