When I opened the tattered edged black bible, the smell of an old wood burning hickory house wafted in. It lifted my heart with joy, as it brought back the memories of a wholesome 1950s life. A life well-lived and devoted to Jesus. A small index card fell out with two verses written in cursive handwriting – that proved to be very telling of her heart’s desire. The index card, the bible and the smell were a gift that came to me 13 years after the death of my beloved grandmother.
Born in 1925 and married in 1950, my grandmother had 5 children. She accepted Jesus prior to the translation of the NIV bible. So, the old King James Version was the dearest thing to her heart aside from her love for Jesus and her children and family.
As I flipped through the delicate pages, I thought about how she used the bible for comfort and correction with me. She’d cradle the pages in her hand, lift her eyeglasses up a bit, and read me verses. We’d sit at her dining room table filled with fabric pieces and magazine clippings of quilts, dolls, tea cups and paintings. She was at artist a work. Not just of things, but of my soul. She was training me to be a wife, a good friend and a true follower of Jesus.
When I looked up the two verses on the index card, my eyes watered and my lips puckered. These verses spoke straight from her heart.
The verses were:
Psalm 57:7 “My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.”
Psalm 112:7 “He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord.”
The NIV would eventually translate “fixed” to “steadfast”, at some point in her life. But I prefer the word “fixed” to describe the heart. It tells me where I focus my attention or “fix” my attention is where my decisions will be too. The decision for me to sing and praise. The decision for me to not be afraid and to trust in Him. My grandmother faced many challenges in her life, including being married for over 50 years to someone who did not believe in Jesus. She always remained faithful – even to the end.
If we had read these verses together, my grandmother would have asked me an introspective question and encouraged me to take these verses further into my heart. So, I ask these questions of myself and for you:
- Am I fixed on my service to Jesus?
- Am I fixed on my worship?
- Am I fixed on my devotion to my church?
- Am I fixed on my tithing?
- Am I fixed on being a peacemaker?
- Am I fixed on showing His love to a hurting world?
- Am I fixed on Jesus, my Savior?
Am I totally fixed on Jesus? Are you?