When you pray do you ever feel like you’re asking too much? Lately, I’ve found myself telling God I don’t want to ask for too much because I don’t want to sound demanding or entitled. But then I go back and forth between “He’s the king of the world and He has the heavens in the palm of His hand. I am His daughter and He wants to give me good gifts.” and “Who am I to be asking for things? Who am I to ask for specific things?” But I did it anyway because I know that God knows my heart. These requests are the deepest desires of my heart and He already knows them.
I’m finally learning that in order to fully trust Him, I have to fully empty my heart to him so that he can fill it up. So that He can also clean it out if my desires are not His desires. I’m learning to really give things to Him. Trusting Him means to give things to Him once and leave them there at His feet. I pray “this is all of my heart’s desires and I know You’re faithful and I trust You with it all.”
And it’s been different this time. In the past, when I finished praying I would go straight to doing. I’d make a to do list. I’d stress myself out trying to make it work the way I want it to work. I’ve finally had this epiphany that I don’t need to go from trying to doing, but instead, I need to go from praying to being. The Bible says over and over again to just be still. Psalm 46:10 has been my favorite for as long as I can remember.
Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know that I am God.”
I would get so caught up in the doing that it was impossible for me to be still in the knowing. I was not being still literally or spiritually.
Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you while you keep still.”
1 Samuel 12:16 “Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!
Psalm 62:5-6 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.
I was so worried about fighting for what I wanted that I ended up with an internal battle. I was trying to do everything right and keep my priorities straight. However, I never felt rested or peaceful. The reason was because even though God was on my list of priorities. Trusting Him was not my priority. Putting Him first really matters. Keeping His praise on your lips really matters. I finally understand it. Although, I’m sure He will continue to teach me and bring me deeper.