There has never been a time when I doubted the existence or the miracle of Christ, even if I wasn’t asking him to walk next to me. I’ve always known he died for my sins.
My walk with the Lord has definitely strengthened in the past 10 years. Attending a new church with my husband, joining a bible study, and surrounding myself with people who lift me up rather than “judge”, are all things that have made me more aware of God’s presence in my life.
I was becoming aware that I was a sinner just as much as someone who has murdered. It was so easy to tell myself “I know I’m not as bad as Lisa. Certainly, her sins are greater than mine”. Judging others, doubting God’s faithfulness, and even not coming to God in prayer were just as bad as the “outward sin” I saw in others.
I recognize the importance of Christ and can look back on my life and see that I have been protected by his hand even when I didn’t ask for it. Mistakes were made. Some were big. Wrong paths were taken. Some were very wrong. I was protected every step of the way. I didn’t always rely on his guidance but he was there. Wisdom has shown me that all of the stumbling blocks, unhealthy relationships that didn’t work out, or jobs I didn’t get, were just God telling me not to go that way!! That is not MY plan for you!
While there was no “epiphany” for me, I can honestly say he has been with me. I realized I only had to watch and listen for the signs. I know now that every red light I have to stop at when I’m in a hurry is God telling me to slow down. When I want something right now and no one is available to take my call, God is telling me, “it’s not for you. I have something better planned”.
I have to be willing to trust Him and make my plans HIS plans.